|Jen is a buzzkiller.
||[Oct. 29th, 2007|11:50 pm]
|||||immortal technique - peruvian cocaine||]|
In my line of work, I get constantly propositioned not only for sex acts but also for extreme sex acts. With my particularly over-analytical state of mind, this can either be pretty hilarious or highly disturbing. In the back of my mind, I'm silently wondering if these fantasies are borne out of genuine desire or if they're conditionings projected on them from a lifetime of bombardment with images of the thrill of human debasement.
Recently, business has been agonizingly slow. Particularly during the mellow day shifts, florid with regulars, who are evidently bored with familiar female faces. Since last December, I've been struggling with thousands of dollars of debt from my medical bills. Credit card after credit card opened to rack up enough money to pay for all my hardware problems with my laptops (I've gone through four laptops in the past two years), and not to mention living alone in a house supporting myself with living expenses, work expenses, and bill expenses. I had to quit my job in Connecticut because I couldn't afford to pay out the gas and hotel money every weekend. At my club in Rhode Island, I have to tip out the following: DJ, house mom, house fee, schedule fee, late fee, not to mention tipping out $5 per lapdance and $30 per champagne room.
Ergo, the average dancer is tipping out around $100 a day just to work a part-time shift. And if you only made $100 that day, well, tough shit.
The other week, while observing yet another moneyless day with no people, I got desperate. Despite my intuition telling me to not fuck with this particular guy, I did regardless. I approached this man. Approximately late forties, stocky-build, gigantic creepy glasses and a general fumbling, plodding "I-am-a-closeted-serial-rapist" gait. He was completely socially retarded, and I had no chance of actual communication with him. I asked him for a dance.
Immediately during the dance, before I can even get fully adjusted, he starts using his hands to maul my body. Groping everything in sight, trying to lean forward and put his filthy mouth all over my skin. Normally, I won't even tolerate this shit, but I was so pressed for cash that I spent the entire time fending him off as skillfully as I could. His appetite was insatiable as he kept buying dance after dance after dance.
It was also what my club promotes as a "two-for-one" day (Mondays and Tuesdays to draw in customers on slower days), so I had to endure this for twice as long for less money.
At one point, he reaches up his hands and begins to choke me. At first I try to play it off, refusing to acknowledge that this piece of shit could cause me pain, but when he doesn't get the reaction he craves, he digs in harder. And harder. My temples begin to throb and my ears start to ring from the absense of circulation, and I'm pounding at his forearms. "Stop," I'm whispering, which was more like a gasp. "Stop." This only makes him more excited, his pockmarked face deviantly grinning. "Yes baby, fight it. Put up a fight." Horror pooled up in me like oil, black heavy and thick. My vision exploded starry and I felt my stomach fold in on itself. The room, the world, went slack. The more I struggled, the more his erection strained against his pants. Someone was eroticizing my pain. This was the story of my entire life, of many people's lives. Having their discomfort, their physical and psychological agony sexualized for the benefit of someone's arousal. My throat burned as he throttled me, whispering yes baby yes, as colors were being sucked out of the universe forever: blue had evaporated into empty space and red was burning its fierce self to nothingness like some distant quasar.
When he finally released me after I pounded him in the face, he had the balls to say "I'm so sorry Gemini. I didn't mean to hurt you."
"Give me all of your money," I demanded. My voice was bloodless, stripped of music.
He frantically emptied his wallet to me: a meager two hundred. Was it worth the claret bruise seared into my throat, the inability to swallow without pain for the next few days? Was it worth that incident making me reach the end of my tether, the final straw in everything I hated about my womanhood?
"I would love to see you outside of here. I would like to make love to you."
Make love. Make love makelovemakelovemakelovemakelovemakelove.
And so here's where I am. Soul searching beyond the depths that I never wanted to tap into, remembering every single event that lead up to this moment. Remembering every person I've ever known who's said they've gotten themselves drunk to avoid the pain of sexual intercourse, who's taken a load of jizz on their face because their spiritually fucked up boyfriend insisted on it. Pornography is the biggest perpetrator of this nonsense. A multi-billion industry that basically ruined sex and morphed it into this plasticized, formulatic way of human connection and destroyed the innovation of appealing to different people's sexual styles. Pornography viewers (myself included, in retrospect) have been socially conditioned to sexualize violence. "And when you sexualize violence you render the violence invisible." And then when you step back and critique it, these dipshits have the collosal gall to refer to it as "lovemaking", an expression of sexual freedom, barracaded heavily with the First Ammendment.
So ergo, here are my critiques of the industry that should be removed and kindly burned to the ground.
Disclaimer: Some of the wording has been revised from it's previous state for clarity. A commenter touched upon my very self-absorbed indifference to homosexual male porn, so let's establish that just because I'm touching about heterosexuality in this discussion that is does not mean that homophobia is of no importance to me - but sexism is the primary focus in this particular article. I am very unknowledgeable of gay pornography therefore I don't want to muddy this up with faulty assumptions. Thanks, the cruelbitcherator.
1. The blatantly simple-minded objectification of bodies set the precedent that the actors are carnal realdolls and nothing further. Essentially, this is true to the detached and uncreative viewer, but adamant knights for the exploitation industry tend to forget that these "fantasies", are in fact, happening to real people. The female body, the vehicle of receptivity, is a two-dimensional soul made flesh, possessing holes that can - and will - be entered. And reducing the male's presense to nothing but a cock attached to a mysterious alien pelvis. None of this.
2. Body punishing sex scenes, let's address those. This includes anal penetration of a woman (the primary thrill emphasized in these videos is that, in fact, that it hurts her and she hates it - so this is especially highlighted as horrific). Very frequently, indications of her pain are not edited out. Surely you can guess why. In a culture that is appalled by real-life sexual abuse, I find it very curious that many videos marketing "consensual" punishment go out of their way to make it appear nonconsensual. Acknowledge the tragedy in the actress tensing her body up against the slamming, rigid as a board, not limber and supple with pleasure as she moans artificially.
3. Gangbanging. The "bitch likes to be fucked by six guys" promotion is certainly adorable, however it's ludicrous to assume that someone honestly relishes being penetrated with several Viagra-infused dicks for the entirety of their day. It solidifies their notion of her importance and the idea of her body as the screen for them to bond and project. Their bragging high-fives are sometimes present, sometimes in their heads. She does not get to orgasm - that terrible burden is on all of them. Her body is a receptacle to the after-effects of their "bonding" - the more of them get to violate her, the more delightful the dehumanization, the more she is allotted to endure alone. They are the ones who want this, they are the initiators and the aggressors, and in the end, who gets called a slut? You tell me.
4. Double pentration, and triple penetration.
5. Throat-gagging, or any of the principles of "gonzo" porn that is florid with the undeniably sadistic hatred of the reciever, capitalizing on ruining her emotionally and physically. A lot of emphasis they place on gag factor websites is that the messier and sloppier the blowjob, the better. The more her face contorts as they ram their misshapen penises down her throat, the more she chokes on resists with panicked reflexes and the more her trachea ruptures, the hotter it is. The males in the films always, without fail, encourage their victim to cough up her viscious saliva, to drool up unto her own lipsticked face, to vomit. One ten minute amatuer video I watched featured an infantilized young girl saying "I'm going to make this cock grow with the love of a woman", followed by the guy immediately thrusting his pelvis up into her face, shoving her head down and violently forcing her to puke up for ten minutes while his friend took pictures. And they do, in fact, proudly label it as "abuse". In the video mentioned, the subtext is "the way for a woman to show her love is to endure physical agony, primarily for the sole pleasure of the reciever". I think most of us non-sociopaths are all set with that shit.
6. With all this established thus far, I believe firmly in taking what you're dishing out, my friend. If a man is pressuring a woman into such acts of dominance like receiving his cock up her ass, he must be prepared to take the same type of "pleasure". What's funny is how very unsusceptible men are to being penetrated in sharp contrast to their desire to penetrate. The solidifies the subliminal gender roles, the eroticization solely placed on female subordination. The fact that it not-so-subtly mirrors gender roles that already exist in society, presently and historically, is the very thing that alarms me and fills me with an unnameable disgust. In a society that presently permeates inequality, how does the pornography exist in a vacuum? It is simply another way of keeping an entire gender of people down, down, down, similiar to the way women are catcalled and harassed while walking down the street, entering the public. To be shoved back into their place - their place is to be sexualized, to be scrutinized, not as an individual human - but because is female, because she is.
7. Territorial marking, e.g facials, "moneyshots", bukkake, insert delightful descriptor here. One website reads Sometime's a woman's face is a canvas. The "art" is your bodily fluids unloaded onto your personal come trap, mouth agape with receptiveness. Ejaculating onto another's human body - very much the same as into a napkin. You explain to me why this needs to be done.
8. Men have unanimously agreed that urinating with an erection is impossible. Ergo, watersports are either fantasized because of their impossibility, or because of their ability to debase and further pollute the receiver with your waste. Which answer have you determined it is?
9. Ass to mouth. Nothing like showing your love of humanity by causing their stomach lining to be contaminated with biohazardous waste.
10. Showcasing lesbianism is done in a way that is clearly marketed for the benefit of what men's delusional concept of what lesbianism is or should be. This includes sucking on dildos, strap-ons, finger penetration with long razorlike acryllic talons, ad nauseam. The idea of lesbianism is not to make it as straight as possible. The overabundance of phallic imagery in ersatz lesbian erotica is disconcerting and abolishes the purpose.
11. Suggestions of child-fucking. I do not give the slightest of shit that you consider it roleplay. The same way the modeling industry is promoting shapeless, infantilized forms is dangerous (and telling) of society's expectations of what is romanticized, likewise is pornography's depiction of "amateurs". Speaking of which, as this gets mentioned often here: having your body is a personal choice; some prefer it, others don't, but the point is there shouldn't be pressure to succumb to removal of it for the sake of some bullshit pre-determined expectation of "hygeine". The over-glorifying of small, breakable, hipless childlike frames sends a vile message. And before you proclaim that's discrimination against naturally petite girls, let me just say this: I'm naturally skinny, and it's fine to be that way, but don't capitalize on your very own anatomy to promote pedophilia. You heard me: Pigtails, braces, schoolgirls, ruffly babydoll outfits, sucking demurely on lollipops while you are being fucked on Care Bear bedsheets. "Barely Legal" should be ignited and charred into the ground. The fact that it's illegal to perform these acts on a child but perfectly legal to impose the same acts on an adult imitating a child for the pedophile's benefit shows how much we desire to shelter ourselves from the cinematic disgraces that socialize and normalize the fact that 3 out of 4 girls is sexually molested before the age of 18. Are these videos making a joke out of this reality, or are they providing fucking intructional tapes for their perpetrators?
12. Feature videos really enjoy beating us over the head with images of women who have conformed too heavily to patriarchal beauty standards to be taken seriously. Anyone who's surgically ripped apart and mutilated their body to conform to the generic template of constructed femininity is to be "desired". This really does not, from my own perspective, support the idea that women are found beautiful in their natural state - they are beautiful IF they disinigrate their natural structure as much as possible, becoming charicatures of themselves. It is, after all, a Fantasy. But only to one who's chest cavity is not permanently disfigured from inserted pockets of poison.
13. Insertion of equipment inside people's anuses, mouths, or vaginas. I really shouldn't have to explain this, however, I have no illusions about the falsehood of your compassion. While having Belladonna take your cock up her ass does directly stimulate your penis and cause you pleasure, watching her take a baseball bat up her ass doesn't cause you physical pleasure, but psychological on the basis that it hurts, demeans, invades. A test to see if she can "take it", which in actuality is a test to decipher if she truly is spiritually and physically numb from the inside out. There's that hole again - and it must be filled. With something, anything. If it is not a cock, it must be an object that represents a cock, an extension. Which leads me to...
14. Any emphasis placed on someone being filled with something needs a clear line, a boundary. While some women claim to enjoy the sensation of a cock inside them, most women do not like having dildos, apparatuses, dental equipment, fists, shoved inside of them, because the cock is considered a personal thing, a piece of someone else inside of you, while a plastic, metal, or silicone device is just employed as a tactic of dominance. It is impersonal, invasive in all the wrong ways, and suggests the pleasure is that the object is filling her, dominating her, causing her discomfort while her body stretches and accomodates to the instrument. For a reference, consider certain pregnant fetishcists. They have told me, time and time again, that they fervently enjoy the psychological component that her body is distending and mutating to make room for the object that he has fertilized, that she will have to suffer because of something you ejected inside of her, that her breasts will swell appetizingly and she must feed your child with them, which is considered an erotic act in itself. Websites promoting this exist. Men who tell me this fantasy do exist. Even childbirth has had its soul siphoned from it, and has been replaced with an objectifying variation of sadism.
15. Over-emphasis on intercourse being the end-all, be-all of the sex act. While not all porn contains vaginal or anal intercourse, that certainly does compromise the vast majority of its formulaic videos. While some women and most men claim to find it extremely pleasurable, not every individual is hardwired that way. It is a rarity in porn showcasing intercourse that the woman is being masturbated in any way, or having the penetrator appear to be making an effort to appeal to her preferred style. If this is what people are jerking off to, it means this is considered the ideal: Intercourse is not ideally mutual pleasure, but rather her existence is present to pleasure you as your fleshlight. Her orifice exists to masturbate your shaft; her job is just to moan at appropriate intervals. If this wasn't actually the case, it wouldn't be so prominently showcased and marketed as such.
16. Cherry-popping, "first time" videos are particularly loathesome. The propagated myth used to bait people into consent is that it is "empowering" and intimate to have your first experience occur on video; it's exciting, fun. However, let's debunk this with the unfortunate reality: if this is your first time, you have no concepts of your boundaries and borders, so this can be very damaging both physically and psychologically. Also, the main reason is that the exploitations of a girl's demure innocence, the art of her virginity, is not that you're out for her sexual freedom or liberation - but because viewers want to watch the debasement and dominance implied in deflowering her. Turning her out into a whore, so to speak. Another problem is that in many "first time" videos, it shows the woman trying to dispel or reject the penis that is hurting her, but she is pushed through it because the first time is "supposed to hurt", and also because the pleasure of it is that she has to learn to accomadate the girth despite her protests. The subtext? "Keep hurting her until she likes it."
17. Female masturbation shouldn't be limited to fingering. Some women do enjoy penetration, but this shouldn't be the primary focus. Sex isn't always about being filled with someone or something. Instead, emphasis should be placed heavily on her main erogoneous spot, the clitoris, even while fingering.
18. Masturbation should be heavily promoted. We each know our own boundaries and what pleasures us, so therefor we're not hurting ourselves or others. Mutual masturbation is an extremely sex-positive and erotic act. The best sex I've ever had is when me and my partner are touching ourselves while kissing, caressing, holding, and licking the other person. This makes it so it isn't an exclusively solo act, and you can still take time to stop and focus on the other person. Imagine that, Jen doesn't have obscene power-struggling "relations". This is probably because I exert my excessive demand for control in other areas in life, leaving sex to be actually fun.
19. This deserves no explanation: No scenes that simulate rape.
So basically what Jen has done here is taken all the "fun" out of pornography. When the reality is all I've done is subtract the biased savagery. When I see an equal number of guys enduring the same abuse I'll maybe be convinced that it's simply that humans in general are just fucked up, but since it's disproportionately in men's favor, I'm leaning towards the fact that it's eroticizing inequality, eroticizing the very real threat of hate.
And before you say anything else, I must emphasize that this is a huge issue for me because I have to deal with this on a day-to-day basis. People that want to have sex with me are not only suggesting the above "activities", but expecting them by default. Customers at work touching me, groping me, licking me without consent and murmuring things like "Gag on my cock, bitch" are remarks I'd prefer to go without hearing regularly. If you blame it on the industry I'm involved in, I'll laugh in your face. There are plenty of decent, civil men who come into my job and do not inflict their psychopathic mommy issues upon me. Imagine that!
"When I ask men who are sex addicts if they would want their wife or daughter to be in porn, 100 percent say, 'No.’ They want it to be somebody else's wife or daughter. They know this material is damaging."
And yes, I'm aware that, in theory, I would make no money off of the aforementioned videos. That's quite alright. I'd feasibly be pulling in more money from guys fantasizing that I'll be engaging in the aforementioned.